


Fucking sea monkeys.

by sister_wolf



Category: due South
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-06
Updated: 2004-05-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/sister_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray woke up with a surprised glurgle.  "What the-- what the FUCK?"  His nice warm bed with the designer Egyptian cotton sheets was gone.  Instead, he seemed to be floating in a big-- fish tank, or something.  Maybe it was an Olympic-sized pool.  But the water tasted, well, salty.  Kinda fishy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking sea monkeys.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know where this insanity came from (#discourse, of course), check [](http://brooklinegirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**brooklinegirl**](http://brooklinegirl.livejournal.com/)'s post here: <http://www.livejournal.com/users/brooklinegirl/138576.html>

Ray woke up with a surprised glurgle. "What the-- what the FUCK?" His nice warm bed with the designer Egyptian cotton sheets was gone. Instead, he seemed to be floating in a big-- fish tank, or something. Maybe it was an Olympic-sized pool. But the water tasted, well, salty. Kinda fishy.

Just then the most hideous thing he'd ever seen bumped into him. It looked like a fucking six-foot tall shrimp! Little shrimp feelers and everything. But the most disturbing part of all was the ugly black-framed glasses perched on the creature's non-existent nose.

"Holy shit-- _Stan_???"

The creature wiggled its feelers excitedly and made an odd clicking noise with its mandibles. Either it was Stan, or it was about to try to eat him.

"Calm down, babe, I'm gonna figure this out, I swear." Ray tried to pat it on the shoulder and suddenly realized that his own hand was pale grey and, well, slimy. Holy Mary, Mother of God, he was a shrimp too!

Spinning around in the water, he quickly saw that they were surrounded by dozens of shrimp. Shrimp that looked suspiciously familiar. Off in the distance, he could see a shrimp with a Mountie hat, next to a smaller shrimp with a dog collar. "Oh fuck! If Benny's a shrimp too, we're never gonna get out of here!"

Half-hysterically, Ray wondered if the Lieu were here too. And Frannie! He wiggled and clicked in distress at the thought of a giant shrimp in a crop-top.

The Stan-shrimp chittered sympathetically and stroked him soothingly with a long feeler.

"No, no, this is horrible--"

"Ray! _Ray!_ Wake up!"

Ray woke up with a sudden gasp of air. Stan was leaning over him with a concerned look on his sleep-creased face.

"Oh, my god, Stan, it was horrible," Ray said, sitting up in bed and rubbing his face with his hands. "We were shrimp-- giant shrimp-- trapped in this tank of salt water or something."

Stan squinted at him. "Like sea monkeys?"

"Yes! That's it exactly! We were sea monkeys!"

Stan stared at him for a moment, his eyes widening, then suddenly fell over on his side with a howl of laughter. "Sea monkeys! Fucking sea monkeys!"

"Hey! That's not funny!" Ray protested, poking Stan in the side.

Stan finally stopped laughing and grinned up at him from the tangled bedcovers. His hair was sticking in all directions and his face was red with laughter. "It's funny, babe. Trust me on that one."

Ray shrugged. "Whatever." Pouncing abruptly, he braced himself over Stan on his forearms, looking down at him with a smoldering look. "I don't wanna talk about sea monkeys anymore."

Stan grinned slowly. "Okay."

 _Pan to the fireplace. Moans and cries of passion, interrupted by an occasional snicker and a muttered "Sea monkeys!"_


End file.
